Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton
When you look back at photos in your facebook page, in certain dates, you cannot avoid thinking about the times that you were going through and the challenges you faced.
Last year, around this time, I had just come back from my honeymoon. It was an amazing experience having spent 9 days at Lux South Atoll in the Maldives.
It was good for my mind to just go away and stop thinking. Literally stop thinking about everything and just enjoy. I would worry about the issue when I´d come back to Denmark.
This was March 2017. We had been trying since 2015. Nothing had happened until then and one could very well blame whoever or whatever but it was just not happening.
I had been so fidgety about getting pregnant “too soon”. I thought that getting pregnant in my twenties was too early to start a family and thought that I had a lot more to live and see. And I did. We travelled, we partied, we did whatever you can do when you don´t have kids, which is let´s be honest, anything you feel like.
When I finally decided that I was ready (well almost, yeah, because I had real issues with giving birth and I had every right to have them) I had entered my thirties. It was actually a great time, as most of my friends had babies and I could get limitless advice from them.
In April, things didn’t go so well. At school, it was hard to focus and the medicine did not help at all. I was tired and moody and it showed in my work. The waiting in the first try was nearly impossible to bear. You’ve been checked, everything seems okay, yet you cannot make your dream come true on your “own”. The thought of not being able at all to conceive nearly paralyzes you to live your life and it did.
That month was unsuccessful and it was hard and I mean hard. Mentally I was drained, but as cold as sometimes I can be, I called them and asked for another appointment in that same month.
I was getting ready for my exam and showing up late every day. I couldn’t understand the exhaustion that I was feeling. While working from home I was taking naps and normally I had a pretty good stamina. I thought, wow this semester is really kicking my ass.
Besides tiredness I didn’t feel anything at all. The boobs feeling sore, the bloating I would normally get when my period would come, the pains. Ironically the symptoms for pregnancy are similar, so I thought, here we go again, nothing will happen this month. Again. Good thing we had one more try.
That month was insane. Between Copenhagen and the summerhouse, school and what was happening in my body with all the hormones I was taking, I kinda forgot to follow up. I literally forgot all about whether I was finally pregnant or not.
It is a long story this one and don’t misinterpret me, I really wanted it so bad, but somehow my “professional” side took over.
Friday was the day that I should have taken the test. I didn’t.
Saturday, Sunday and Monday passed and I hadn’t yet taken the test. My husband hissed at me saying that he too was waiting anxiously for an answer.
Honestly I was waiting for my period to come, like last time. However, apparently showing no care for whether I was bearing a child or not, I was counting the days passing by on my calendar. Anxiously.
Tuesday next day, I continued working on my tasks for the exam and went to close my eyes for a bit. The tiredness I was feeling was unbearable. When I woke up I went to the bathroom and just did it. I took a test. It took and I am not making this up, but it took 5 seconds for the most wished for stripe to show its face.
There was no doubt. I came out of the bathroom and showed it to my husband. I didn’t know then but life was about to become a roller coaster.
Thanks for joining me!